When I attended my first consultant appointment during my second pregnancy, I was 24 weeks and well on my way to the third trimester, I'd already pretty much planned out my ideal situation of giving birth in my head, when the words I never expected to hear came out of the consultants mouth 'So will you be going for an elective cesarean?'. I didn't really understand. Yes my birth with Noah wasn't exactly textbook, it was an induction, he weighed 9lb 13 and (tmi) he completely tore me apart - BUT, I delivered a healthy, happy baby sans pain relief. At no point during my labour did any alarm bells ring and there was never any need for extra concern, we were all perfectly fine and happy. I just couldn't work out why on earth this offer would be on the table for me. Should I be taking it? Would giving birth via c-section (and don't get me started on that article, yes it is still birthing) be 'easier', it would be a pain free labour, but I think we all know it's the recovery of a c-section that takes the wind from your sails - could I cope with that? Before most of these thoughts had gathered their answer, I uttered no. I wasn't having a cesarean.
During my next appointments I mustered up the courage to ask why I was offered it, I knew women who had fought so hard to receive one after traumatic births and it almost felt a bit unfair that I was being handed that choice quite willy nilly. In short, due to the nature of my tearing with Noah there was a high chance it could happen again and leave me with someone serious problems, I remember discussing these over with my Mum and she seemed all for the c-section. Now, call me crazy here but I actually enjoy the process of labour and birth. Yes, yes, it's painful, of course, but I enjoy the journey that brings me to my baby, I felt proud of myself after birthing Noah and to me the whole labouring process felt like the natural end to our journey from one to two. I wanted that again and I was prepared to deal with the consequences of another tear. Don't be fooled for thinking though that I'm some sort of birthing solider, ready to bare the pain and wanting to be all natural, sitting with the daisy in the field singing kum by yah, because that is not the case, far from. There is very little in life that I really can't cope with but not being in control of my body is one of them, I only have to sleep on my arm for it to go dead and I'm nearly in tears, I hate it - sleep paralysis is one of my biggest fears. That being said, to have a cesarean I would need an epidural which as mentioned was a big no-no for me, I actually had to have one after birthing Noah, if you read my blog almost four years ago now you'll know I haemorrhaged at home one week postpartum and had to have emergency surgery which required an epidural. I won't lie, it was a huge kick in the dick after squeezing him out of my nether regions, ripped apart and being sewn up chucky style, all sans epidural, I was then forced to have what I absolutely detested due to their inadequacy. I felt helpless after that procedure, thankfully I had John on hand during my recovery in waiting for the numbness to wear off but it was such a bizarre feeling staring at my own legs but not having an ounce of control over them. I wouldn't wish for that again and feel nothing but awe for the ladies who go through cesareans. There is some false sense of it being the easy way out of labour, as if women are happily opting to have their stomachs shredded, it's ludicrous and if you're amongst the people who believe that then you're probably in the wrong place today.
When I was pregnant, I went through a phase of REALLY wanting a c-section. I think, like you, I like to be in control especially of my body, and the thought of not knowing when labour would happen or how it would be was terrifying. That said, as soon as I read up on them I realised that it's a hugely traumatic process and one I would NEVER wish to voluntarily go for. I have huge respect for anyone that gives birth regardless of how they do it but completely agree, a c-section isn't the easy way out at all!! Glad to hear you managed to give birth how you wanted!
ReplyDeleteI was never offered one but I know C-sections are not the 'easy'option some may think they are.
ReplyDeleteI asked for a c-section during each birth but was only semi-serious. My sister had an emergency c-section with her first and then an elective with her second as did my mum. I think choice of the mother is so important for a healthy delivery
ReplyDeleteI was never ordered one. And to be honest the whole procedure scares me.
ReplyDeleteTherefore I wouldn't opt in for one unless it was 100% necessary
The recovery tie for a csection always put me off, some see it as the easier option but I just couldn't stand the thought of not being able to drive for so long - It's major surgery.
ReplyDeleteThe thought of having to have a c-section with either of mine absolutely scared the life out of me! Second was breach right up until 37 weeks and I did my absolute best to turn her ox
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