It's so hard when planning children to know what exactly the right age gap could be and in truth it completely depends on you and your family. Some people want children straight after each other so they can be really close in age, others want their first child to be at school when they have another but for us it was that Noah could understand. I didn't want to bring a new baby into our family and Noah feel confused, pushed out and not really sure how to handle everything. I guess we are quite lucky, Noah has always been a chatterbox, and so his speech and language is above and beyond the norm for his age, this meant we could talk to Noah about everything and he was able to tell us back. Throughout my pregnancy we spoke to Noah about the baby, even told him the name and included him in things such as listening to Ps heartbeat & a growth scan. Towards the last weeks we really pushed on the fact baby was coming and that we thought he'd have a present for Noah. Every night before bed Noah would say 'Maybe baby Paddy get me aaa.... digger, or maybe a bus' and the list would go on. That being said he was obviously delighted when he came to meet him to find he had indeed brought him some presents.
Now we've had two children, peoples minds immediately question if we'll have a third and in truth, we don't know. But what we do know is not now, or the near future. There are so many things that would have to change with 3 children, including much bigger cars, earning more money and maybe even a bigger house. So for us, the right age gap would be nothing below 4 years this time. Ideally if, and it's a very, very big if, we have another, I'd like both of my boys to be at school. P was born due to my waters breaking at 30w and unfortunately, when it's happened once it's extremely likely to reoccur, if both boys were at school and I had another poorly baby, I could focus my mind a little more knowing they'd be safe at school during the day.
There is just so many different aspects of life you have to consider when planning for a family. And who is to say that things will work just as you plan, people can struggle to conceive, health problems could occur, or circumstances just change. All in all I revert completely back to my first point, the right age gap is whatever is right for you.
There is 4.5 years between my eldest and middle child, which was perfect for us. There are just 1 months between my middle child and my youngest, which I thought would be really nice, being so close. But they are a nightmare when they are together! #MarvMondays
ReplyDeleteWow, totally different ends of the spectrum there for you. I can imagine, I don't know how you do it, you must be a supermama! xxx
DeleteYes, I think there are pros and cons to all age gaps! The main thing is knowing your other children are of an age where you could cope with them and another baby. Of course, as you've experience, even then the unexpected can happen! #MarvMondays
ReplyDeleteCouldn't agree more, I would always want my children to be able to understand as it's such a huge adjustment for them. xxx
DeleteInteresting topic - my husband is adamant we will have a small age gap between our children, but I agree with you that I think my little boy needs to be old enough to understand what's going on. We are planning on 2 - 2.5 years age gap which I think is perfect! #MarvMondays
ReplyDeleteYeah a lot of men tend to want a smaller age gap, I do think it means they'll be closer but maybe thick as thieves together too? haha xxx
DeleteThere's 4.5 and nine years between my two sisters and I. I don't think there's ever a right time really. My daughter is currently six, she'll probably be at least eight if/when we have another child which means she's old enough to do certain things herself and help us. I don't think I'd like the idea of having lots of little ones under, say, five. I wouldn't cope. #marvmondays
ReplyDeleteAlso, it's not necessarily possible to plan an age gap. I had two miscarriages between BB and Little B and would have loved a smaller gap but it wasn't possible #marvmondays
ReplyDeleteAlso, it's not necessarily possible to plan an age gap. I had two miscarriages between BB and Little B and would have loved a smaller gap but it wasn't possible #marvmondays
ReplyDeleteI completely agree. Its about what is right for each family. For us I knew I didnt want to have two children back to back as we wanted to enjoy our first child on her own for a few years. I also couldnt imagine being able to cope with two little ones so close in age, and then theres work and the finances to think about. We always knew we'd have a second, but always said we'd like a 2-4 year age gap and in the end we let nature take its course and landed in the middle with 3 which suits us perfectly. That said, sometimes its out of your hands and you just go with it so I really think there is never a right time as such or perfect age gap :-) Fab post, thanks for sharing it on #MarvMondays Emily x
ReplyDeleteMy girls have a 2 year age gap and my son is 4 years younger than my youngest daughter. Both my girls are in full time school now and it's so much easier! #MarvMondays
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