HOW I'VE FOUND RETURNING TO WORK

I've now been officially back at work for over a full month, I've had the benefit of a full pay day too - YAY! I did begin to write this a week in but realised that it wouldn't really give a full portrayal, as a week definitely isn't enough time to tell how things have settled. But now I feel I can properly sit down and thrash out my thoughts on how everything has gone with both me and family life in my transition from maternity leave to work. Returning to work is a big task, of which I so desperately wish and do hope for the future, that phased returns will become the norm. I was incredibly lucky that my proposal to work 4 days instead of 5 now, was approved - as I really can't imagine running a house, with two smalls, working 5 days a week. People who manage it deserve medals.

Before returning I was such a mix of emotions, for me I felt quite excited, like the first day of school in a new year - I was almost raring to go, but for my littlest boy I was nervous, everything would be so new for him. Noah had always been kept in the exact same routine, give or take some small changes, so I knew he was always going to breeze through my return to work, which of course he has. Patrick however, has been solely with me and Noah 7-6 Monday - Friday since birth. In January we began letting my Nan have him for one day a week to ease the pressure off me with blogging and to get him used to being looked after by her, this was invaluable because it's meant that transition hasn't at all phased him now my maternity leave is over. Nursery so far has proved fantastic, he's tired by the end of those two days and very excited to see us, we've not yet had a crying session or a grumble so I feel as though we really have gotten away quite lightly. He's completely surprised me as I did envision having to dash out of work 2 hours in, to settle a clingy, emotional baby. Or worse, facing tears and tantrums at the drop off, I'm not sure my heart could cope with that. I guess we can say 'so far, so good' as we can't be sure how the next months will turn out and I most certainly don't want to count my chickens before they hatch in thinking he's settled perfectly. As for me and John, well we're doing just great. I love the balance we have again now, no disagreeing over who has it worse, as we respect each other careers and know just how much work we do. Our time on the weekends is so precious, whilst I was at home all week on maternity leave I would find myself getting so worked up if the weekends weren't great - I was quite bored and lonely those 5 days and would put an enormous amount of expectation on the weekend, meaning if plans didn't go quite right, I'd get really disheartened. That's totally different now, I'm just happy relaxing and taking the days slow as I know that's such a rarity in our busy week. Work wise it's better than I could have imagined, I am working in a new team as the boys both being at my old setting meant it would be incredibly limiting to work around them and possibly quite distressing for Patrick to see me but not be able to come to me. I was nervous, I wasn't prepared for a new start as big as this, but it's truly been fantastic. My team are so supportive and incredible, I feel proud working alongside such caring and hardworking ladies. I do love my job, I'm tired at the end of every single day, sometimes I question if returning to work was right for me, but waking up with fresh ideas and knowing each new day is different - is more than enough to keep me going. Heck, the pays okay too. Oh how I missed actual pay. Maternity leave wages aren't glorious, mine only just covered the essentials, so to be able to fork out again on little luxuries is welcomed.

So I guess we could say that things have turned out pretty darn well, I'm the happiest I've been in my career, both of my boys are thriving and family life is just fantastic. I really wish I hadn't spent so much time of maternity leave, worrying about returning to work.