Naturally as parents we all want to gush and share moments of our children's life and with the digital age it's ever more popular to do that with photos. At what point though, are we over sharing? When is enough, enough and when is it impeaching their privacy? As tiny human raisers, we are responsible for their presence on social media, we decide what to share and what information to put across, so it's us who has to be sensible and accountable when doing so I'm not a advocate of going in hard and removing all traces of your children online, but I am definitely wiser now more than ever about how much I share of my little ones across my social platforms and blog.
We know there are many strange people on the internet who can access photos of children and have untoward thoughts, I've known of friends who have had such people comment and remark on their photos - which of course is unsettling. But for me it doesn't tell me I should remove any photos of my smalls from the wide web, because with that theory perhaps I shouldn't take my children out in the street as someone could look at them in an inappropriate manner? It's not logical or reasonable. What I am more aware of instead, is the content I share for the world to see. My logic in sharing photos is 'What would I be happy for someone to see in public', so by that method I'm quite happy to share innocent photos of my sons playing at the park, at home or any other moments where they are dressed. I'm not opposed to a couple of pictures with them shirtless, as in the summer months or on holiday they would be just that also. I draw the line at sharing photos of my sons undressed, I know quite a few people I follow across instagram will happily post a babys bottom and although I can appreciate it's cute and can make you giggle - there are millions of people out there that have other motives when looking at such photos and it's only going to draw them in, particularly if you're using every hashtag under the sun to gain extra attention. For me, a couple of followers or 20 extra 'likes' just are not worth compromising my childrens innocence. I recently saw a photo of someone bathing their child, used on a blog post, you could quite openly see the babys 'bits and bobs', I was flabbergast. Would the blogger post pictures of themselves in such a way for any tom, dick or harry? I doubt it, so I wholeheartedly disagree with doing it to their child.
Then we start to fall into the territory of privacy and responsibility. We are adults, we are in charge of every say in our childrens lives and it's up to us make sensible decisions for them. Would I be impressed if my 17 year old son is sharing nudes over the internet? Absolutely not. So why would it be acceptable for us to do it now on his behalf as a baby. Of course I'm aware the images aren't intended for a sexual purpose now, but we can't choose how someone interprets that, we read everyday in the news of people with more sinister motives online. I just fail to understand the reasoning behind such choices people make for their children. Noah is now three, and quite recently I had someone ask why I don't share more photos of him socially and the answer is simple, he doesn't want to. He doesn't want a camera in his face 24/7 asking him to smile or pose for a photograph, I'm not going to position him 34 times, change his outfit over and over again before I get the 'right shot', it's just not fair and I'll never push my son to do something he doesn't want for my benefit. Quite often I wont post images of my children across social media for days or weeks, they're not featured in every single blog post and I'm not stressing about it. If my boys are agitated at the thought of sitting still of a camera, then the camera goes away. Your child isn't a toy or a prop. My good friend Amy spoke to me recently about how frustrating it can be not getting the right image for Instagam, that doesn't mean shes going to push and push both herself and her gorgeous son for the sake of a snap, she simply takes a few days off posting, till she can get an image she's happy with, with ease - what a gem! I'm aware there are children out there that absolutely adore the camera, but if I have to see another photograph of a crying baby on my Instagram I think I might cry myself. You're able to explain what a terrible day you're having without delaying comforting your child for the sake of a photograph, to me it isn't funny and it doesn't add any extra validity to your situation. I do think a lot of people overshare online when it comes to their children, I think in the midst of wanting to be relatable and creative people forget that their children have rights and though they can't speak up, you have to choose wisely whether what you are sharing is reasonable and responsible.
31 July 2024
Totally agree. This is why I do not use my girls names that often on my blog and my personal social media is set to completely private! If either of my children decided they didn't want their photos on my blog or social media I would totally respect their decision ox
ReplyDeleteA great post, i do agree although i do share quite a lot of photos of Olivia. I love taking photos of her but would never put off comforting her to get a photo and never push her to have her photo taken.
ReplyDeleteVery much in agreeance with you on this one Em!
ReplyDeleteI'm very funny with what I post. Bath shots for brands, show no more than if my kids were swimming. I don't share any pictures of them in the nude. I don't share Lucas' potty training photos, nor will I share Iris'. They deserve some privacy. I will share images of them but if they ask me to stop, I will.
ReplyDeleteIt's so important to be aware of this I think, and to have it in the back of your mind every time you post a photo
ReplyDeleteI'm in agreement 100% here. You have to have limits and protect your children. As cute as it is to see a squishy bum, whilst we may look at it in its innnocence and cuteness, others may not and we need to protect our babies from those monsters x
ReplyDeleteI love to take photos of my children. I would however, just as every mum would, stop taking them if they asked me to.
ReplyDeleteIt's something I worry about a lot. I am always selective of what photos I share and ensure there is nothing that I think could embarrass them in later life. As for evil people in this world unfortunately they are everywhere 😩
ReplyDeleteI couldn't agree with you more! I've decided that over at my blog I'll share 1 or 2 pictures of my kiddo where the face can be seen, just to appreciate his privacy. Also I'm using his nickname over at the blog :-)
ReplyDeleteAlthough I agree with you, and I do think some people can overshare to a ridiculous extent, I have also always had the opinion that the people who would use photos of children for their own sick pleasure will do so but it won't affect my children. Having said that, I don't post fully nude photos of the children even as babies, and definitely not now the older two are growing up. I think it's all about moderation. I will share photos of them as I like to, I won't use them for my own gains x
ReplyDeleteGreat post, I absolutely agree...I also don't use little N's real name, so there are no photos linked to him in a google search.
ReplyDeleteI couldn't agree more! Most of the time, my 5-year old son hates having his photos taken and I respect that more than anything. He's aware of my blog so I even ask him if he's happy if I post the photo on IG or FB. They've recently started talking about online safety at school so it's only important that I translate theory into practice for him xx
ReplyDeleteI have had the unfortunate experience of having my daughters privacy be violated by someone close by posting stuff of her on the net. The pictures weren't bad per say. But where they posted them was horrific. We do need to be careful what we show and ultimately put the primary emphasis of the posting on us and not our child ultimately.
ReplyDeleteI post a lot of pictures of my daughters, but they love it, we have so much fun with it. I never really ask them to pose specifically I might just say oi look here quick and they're happy with that. If they ever asked me not to or they got to an age where they say I don't want to be on your blog I would totally respect that decision.
ReplyDeleteI agree with this post. I choose not to post any pictures that show my kids faces or use their names. But I don't judge those who do; like everything when it comes to raising kids, we all do it slightly differently - there isn't always a right or wrong way. Many of the comments here say how parents ask permission from their kids, or that their kids know about their blog or that they would stop if their kid asked them to. I think it's important to understand that our kids (especially v young ones) are unable to consent as they're highly unlikely to understand what it means to have a picture posted online, least of all the concept of the internet & how far it reaches. Like with a TV show, or School Trio, we make that choice for them. So maybe when we post a blog we should ask ourselves, is this picture necessary to tell the story of this post? and then if so, ask ourselves is this picture appropriate/ is it fair to use this picture?
ReplyDeleteThanks for the post, I always think it's really important to have food for thought, especially when it comes to staying safe online! Xx