I think when you become a parent, which is from the second you see those lines on the the test - you're bombarded with pressure and advice. What you should and shouldn't do, what's right and wrong, what will hinder or help your children. I find this is more prominent than ever when it comes to breast v bottle and it can be really difficult to see through the feeding fog.
Controversially, for us it was almost instant that we knew we'd be bottle and formula feeding our first born, Noah and the same thoughts followed with Patrick. I had heard so many stories from people, not the anonymous 'mumsnetters' mob, but ordinary people like my family and colleagues and I took on board their experiences along with a little research to come to the conclusion that we would not be breastfeeding our children. And I say we because I do feel it should be a joint decision, mainly because one of our first reasons was that John wanted to be able to feed Noah too - now I know there are ways around this with breastfeeding, but they were all quite time consuming and took away from the fact that John would be able to just make Noah a feed and give it to him. I could be out, sleeping or just busy and we wouldn't have to worry or I be interrupted because it would just be a much more simple process. Another huge reason, one that I've seen many who breastfeed struggle with, was that we didn't want to unsettle our boys with the eventual transition. It can be a hard one, if it's prolonged and returning to work is looming, it could prove seriously stressful for everyone involved which is something we really didn't want to have to go through. Returning to work is hard enough, you worry about your little ones a lot, to combine that with an added stress of not being able to express or knowing your child can't feed properly without you - it would be such a difficult time.
I've spoke a lot more indepth about more of our reasons in my new video for the IRL channel
As I mention in my video, I think it's just so important that everyone is happy and content, because that way you're all going to thrive. Trying to deal with pressures put on you for breastfeeding or bottle feeding your child isn't easy, and that's why I'm proud to speak out about our reasons. I'll always believe FED is the best option.
This reminded me so much of my own post about breast feeding I completely agree. I was pressured so much, and mainly by my other half, and so I fed him myself for 8 weeks and I was so drained and was getting upset all of the time. He was barely gaining weight, I was up every half an hour through the night, the list was endless. In the end I thought stuff it, and gave in. I didn't want to let it go on too long and I'd already started combination feeding him so I knew he was okay and id started drying up by this point. My other half was gutted but now feels so awful about it because Oscar flourished as soon as we put him on formula!
ReplyDeleteI agree, no matter which way you do it, as long as they're fed, you're a brilliant parent
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I agree with you! My partner and I always said we wanted him to be able to feed our son as well. It annoys me when women think they're the only ones who should get a say, the fathers should have just as much say! Thank goodness for this post, finally someone who's not bashing bottle feeding mums or breast is best police. Thank you!! X
ReplyDeleteP.s, fed is best, whichever way is chosen X
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