Being a boy mama is a badge I'm proud to wear, I love raising boys and I couldn't really imagine life any other way. Yes there's mud pies, tractors, diggers and winky talk but there's also sofa snuggles, chubby hands to hold and the sweetest 'I love yous' life can offer. Whilst I was pregnant with Patrick, it seemed to be everyone's assumption that I was disappointed I was womb-hosting another son. That couldn't have been further from the truth, I know boys, it's my safety zone and one I'm pretty content in staying well within the confines of. As much as I love the idea of shopping for pretty dresses and frilly socks, I can now fulfil that urge with my niece and I would never wish that either of my boys had been any different, just for the simple sake of shopping in the girls section of a store.
As a mum of boys however, I'm sure I'm not along in feeling a little bit exasperated with having to defend my reasoning for not lusting for a girl. It's boring, it really is. I'm bored of explaining it and honestly, I shouldn't have to. It's as if no family make up is enough. No children? 'When're you having kids?' A girl 'Oh wouldn't a little boy be nice'. One boy 'Oh won't you try for a girl'. Nothing is ever looked upon as if you're content, even if you have one of each and fall pregnant again you can immediately sense the shock of people thinking 'What more could you want?'. Well, I'm answering the top four questions I'm so over hearing;
'Do you think you'll try for a girl?'
No, the answer is no. Firstly, because how on earth can I try for an outcome that is un-achievable. I can't control gender, therefore if I was to set on this route, I'm pretty confident we'd have a football team before we saw a girl enter the family. To ask me the question is a bit of a disservice to Patrick, as if he's a blip on the map to the 'perfect family make up'. Just don't ask this to anyone, even if they do want to try for a girl, you're putting them in an uncomfortable position of having to have that information out there, which is so sensitive and personal and if it all goes a bit pear shaped, I'm sure they'll feel rubbish enough as it is. Knowing the answer to this one isn't going to alter your life in any way, so it's really a pointless question.
'Two boys? You must have your hands full.'
Yes, full of cuddles and kisses and two scrumptious boys to hold. Probably about as full as if I had two girls, or one of each. There is this real crazy assumption that boys are rumbustious, out of control and keep you on your toes twenty four hours a day and don't get me wrong, we completely have those days, especially with two so close in age. But I'm pretty certain most parents who have mixed genders or all girls will vouch for the exact same kind of behaviour in their household. We have more calmer and chilled days than we don't, this perception of boys being wild is one I really hope vanishes over the years as it puts a label upon them before they've even figured out who they are themselves leading to some kind of self fulfilling prophecy.
'Did you want a girl?'
A dressed up version of 'Where you disappointed you had another boy?' A sure fire way to get my back up, as if anyone would turn around and agree to this statement. Some people do have a preference when pregnant, and that's totally acceptable. But to ask the question of someone with a living child, if they wish that child was someone else, is pretty damn hard faced. It's another question I can't understand the purpose for apart from sheer nosiness, I've actually been asked this a ridiculous amount of times and even when I say the honest truth which was no I'm besotted with my two boys, I feel as though people assume you're not telling the truth as if it's ludicrous to possibly be content with two sons.
'At least you can reuse all the stuff, right?'
Oh thanks, thanks for that super backhanded information. I mean, everything else is a complete downer but as long as I can reuse those clothes ey.
So whether you're working on the checkouts at Sainsburys and see that mother approaching with two boys, or you're meeting your friend who's just revealed she's having another son, THINK about what words are going to come out of your mouth before they do. I'm so fiercely protective of my sons, as I'm sure all parents are. And next time you're in a situation where you are faced with the above boy mamas, smile and d e e p b r e a t h s !