FEELING LIKE WE'RE ON FAST FORWARD

Life has been manic, for the past month everything has been non-stop and just as we're starting to swing back into our normal routine over the next week or so, Noah will break up from school and the holidays will begin, oh the joy! I am excited to have him home, I truly am but I don't feel as though I've had a minute to even blink lately as everything has been so full on. Between holidays, broken cars, school trips, inset and sports days, I've not really known whether we're coming or going and feel like I've got 101 plates being spun at any time. It's mentally exhausting and I'm definitely being a bit of a jack of all trades.

Think of this as a mind dump, I'm incredibly nosy so personal posts are right up my street but if they're not your bag then this may be one to scroll on past. The whole thirty day whirlwind started last month as Johns car broke and whilst it's not the end of the world it was a huge inconvenience as it wasn't just a quick fix, it also happened the day before our holiday, whilst he was on the way to get his jabs which was just fantastic timing of course. With a knackered engine and a flight looming we knew we were going to be landing back to having that to deal with and thanks to fantastic facebook recommendations we ended up putting it into what can only be described as the busiest car mechanic in history as the whole thing has taken over two weeks to get back. But finally, it's back. John wasn't insured on my car so in the interim periods I've had to be chief taxi driver which I can safely say is not a title I wish to resume any time soon. Unfortunately beggars can't be choosers and a mere four hours after retiring from the position, I had to put the cap back on as the fixed car wasn't quite as fixed as it should have been. We're now three weeks after the initial send off to the garage and we've had it back for a whole twenty four hours without incident (she says!). I'm more than aware how first world this all is but you forget what a luxury having two people who can drive is, when suddenly that's taken away from you.

As a result of problem A, we've had problem B, my work days have been pretty much non existent as I've had to do so much driving around, taking the boys to my Nans' etc that the small amount of time I've had has been so unproductive. I hate feeling like I'm half arsing something and that's really got me down over the past couple of weeks, you know when you've just go so much to do and you can't possibly think where to begin? I'm there. Thankfully today I kicked myself into gear and I've finally shifted out of first, we've not made it to third but we are getting there. Half of me wants to stay awake till 3am working and the other half screams *self care* and I want to chuck on a face mask and binge watch love island - which is 100% a vortex I have been swallowed into, happily. I've spent evenings scouring online for cute pyjama sets to then whack on, sit down with the remote and lose hours to the Spanish villa, it's completely my guilty pleasure when if you'd have asked me a month ago I would have shunned all the hype.

It's made me think long and hard about September, Noah starts school and I toyed with the idea of Patrick beginning playgroup. I'd initially planned to send him as soon as he turned two but it just didn't feel right at the time and I wanted my baby at home, being my baby for a little longer. September is feeling like more of the sweet spot for us and he can attend during the hours Noah will be at school literally across the road - I'm weighing up whether to send him for one day or two but either way he'll be starting. I'm a mixture of emotions about it, torn that I should be the one at home with him 24/7 but ultimately knowing that he needs interaction with others and stimulation that I can't provide at home and I know it'll prepare him for when he eventually begins school himself.

The only thing that really hasn't been affected the past month is sleep. Given all the heat and humidity you'd think it would be a task but I have truly slept like a baby. I'm not sure if it's thanks to a new mattress that you'll hear about soon or simply the fact that my brain can't wait to shut down at the end of the day but it's something I'm relishing and not asking questions about. Patrick slept like a baby (oh that age old saying that was clearly thought by someone without a baby) on holiday and he's thankfully continued the trait back home so all in all our household is pretty peaceful at 4am for a change. A new mattress, luxury nightwear for women thanks to my online splurges and a restful household - what on earth am I complaining about ey? It just feels like someone pressed the fast forward button on life this month, here's to hoping the summer holidays are a little more slow motion. Though I'm sure I will fully regret that notion in two weeks.

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